That Thing Called Insecurities
Life Work

That Thing Called Insecurities

May 28, 2017 No Comment

Let’s talk about a very sensitive issue. An issue where most people keep mum about because they feel that it will make them vulnerable. “Don’t show them your weakness” ika-nga.  I know not a lot of people would have the guts to publicly tell their insecurities. What’s the point? To pity you? To have someone symphatize with you? What is it?

I am telling my story to inspire people. I am telling my story to reach out to men and women to let you all know that it is okay to have these fears and doubts. There is definitely nothing to be shamed about to have a weakness. There is nothing to be shamed about being human.

For a little bit over a year now I’ve felt that I didn’t do well in the industry that I was supposed to be in. Maybe I just didn’t try hard enough. I initially did not want to be a designer for myself, I wanted to work for a company under a boss. I knew that I wasn’t a leader type, and that was okay for me. Not everyone is a born leader. It is hard to look for a job nowadays in fashion, most companies hire students from big universities with a degree in either Business or Communication. They usually don’t pick out students with a degree in Fashion. Maybe they do, maybe I wasn’t just lucky at that time.

My fiancé and I were talking about what I could do if we would leave the Philippines. He wanted me to study again, he wanted me to take that Master’s degree that I’ve always wanted to. Then he asked me, “What would you like to study?” I jokingly answered, “Culinary!” He asked me again, “What do you think you’re good at?” I looked down and did not know what to answer. I think that is one of my biggest insecurities, I don’t actually know what I am good at.

Most people say that I am good at service, that I am good with customer relations. I know how to talk to people, I know how to be polite and I know how to handle difficult situations in a jiffy. That is why I am good at my current chosen career. I learned a lot from working in Louis Vuitton. I learned how to handle different types of people. And that’s what I like, to work in the service industry.

If I would be realistic and think about my family, I would do the easy route and find a job with a stable income. It will take years for an entrepreneur to get their investments back. I cannot wait for that when our baby is arriving soon. I’ll find it so unfair if our baby don’t get the same benefits from us as I had with my mother before. That would break my heart so much. I know that my man can earn money for us, but my mama has always taught me that it is better to earn your own money. Since I was eighteen (18) years old, I’ve been working multiple jobs so I am not definitely not new in working hard for money.

Some say I am good at designing. “You’re so creative and unique!” they would compliment. But I don’t know, maybe design isn’t truly for me. P has once discussed to me about how most people never pursued a career from the path of their studies. He feels that people should be able to only choose a study when you are on your twenties (20’s) not when you are seventeen (17) or eighteen (18). Why do you think students shift courses during the mid years of their studies? I applaud my friends and everyone out there who pursued the career they wanted from their teenage years to where they are now. I’ve always been a little bit jealous because it seems to me that they have a direction going.

Other than work related insecurities, I am very confident about myself. I am confident about my physical features – don’t get me started there. If I can make my man move mountains for me, I am 100% sure that I have no problem in that department. I’m also confident about my personality and character, again, if I can make my man, again, move mountains for me, I am 100% sure that there’s not a huge problem with me. Plus, I am surrounded by amazing friends and family who are so supportive – I am definitely sure there is no problem with me. Ahhh, ok maybe a little.

To get to my point, don’t let your insecurities eat you alive. Take it as motivation, if you cannot outgrow it, then live with it and embrace it. Don’t let it stop you from being yourself! Be happy with this type of flaw because everyone has it. You are alive and you are a human! I will never let my insecurities stop me from having a career that I want to. I never stopped. I am only twenty-something, I know I can do anything I put my mind to – even FLY!

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